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After news released that New York Democratic senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is dating a man by the name of Riley Roberts, many long-time Democrats are starting to rethink their positions. We … Read More
Lester Bumpkins, a recently-divorced watchmaker from Missouri, rarely makes mistakes. This past Monday, however, Bumpkins mistakenly downloaded TikTok, assuming it was a dating app for fellow watchmakers. “I was hoping … Read More
Katie Ledecky is one of the greatest swimmers of all time. She has won five Olympic Gold medals. Her time in the 1500 meter swim of 15 minutes, 34.23 seconds … Read More
A man by the name of Eugene Stinkelberg has declared war on women. In an exclusive Rutabaga interview, Stinkelberg said “I think that this generation of women is comprised solely … Read More
Springfield, IL — Gary Fleming, 37, hurls Libertarian propaganda at passersby.
Last Monday, ninth grade student Little Fletcher had to be rushed to the hospital after an accident involving him and his nail clippers. The accident occured during his honors Biology … Read More
The Rutabaga gained access to a classified document on October 30 containing MoCoSnow creator Alex Tsironis’ plan to make fake snow in an attempt to try and keep his app … Read More
In recent months, Amish people have seemingly disappeared, leading many to speculate as to whether or not they actually exist or have existed. Surprisingly, as we’ve found through an extensive … Read More
There are some animals that just weren’t meant to exist. One of these animals, sent directly from Hell as a punishment for sinners, is the squirrel. The Rutabaga decided to … Read More
Yet another American icon has been taken from us; William Howard Taft passed away on March 8, 1930, a month after he fell ill in February. Taft, who was best … Read More
