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Flash News

Scotland PM: Bagpipes ‘Another Hollywood Cliche Gone Too Far’

Despite his claims of being Pro-life, Rush Limbaugh has died

Is it racist that Apple doesn’t have a rutabaga emoji? Here’s why we think it is

Bernie Sanders Sells Used Mittens to Jeff Bezos for $45 billion

Bye Bye, Boris: Boris Johnson quits job as PM, now selling porridge to homeless people on the streets of London

Did You Open Your Home to The Virus This Christmas?

Breaking News: Due to real life events, The Rutabaga has run out of satire ideas

Abolish Babies

Guys who wear shorts to school in December are outraged about online school

Breaking: Democratic party membership decreases 78% after news releases that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a boyfriend

Monday, March 01, 2021

Category: Feature

Despite his claims of being Pro-life, Rush Limbaugh has died
Feature

Despite his claims of being Pro-life, Rush Limbaugh has died

Glizzy McGee February 17, 2021

Rush Limbaugh, the conservative media mogul most famous for his work on Family Guy, has died of lung cancer at age 70. Limbaugh, who’s most prominent quote on his Wikipedia … Read More

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Breaking News: Due to real life events, The Rutabaga has run out of satire ideas
Here's a picture of a rutabaga
Feature

Breaking News: Due to real life events, The Rutabaga has run out of satire ideas

admin January 7, 2021
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Is Katie Ledecky a fish?
Feature

Is Katie Ledecky a fish?

Ethan Wagner November 12, 2020

Katie Ledecky is one of the greatest swimmers of all time. She has won five Olympic Gold medals. Her time in the 1500 meter swim of 15 minutes, 34.23 seconds … Read More

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Feature

Founder of MoCo Snow has evil plans to create snow days

Ethan Wagner November 2, 2020

The Rutabaga gained access to a classified document on October 30 containing MoCoSnow creator Alex Tsironis’ plan to make fake snow in an attempt to try and keep his app … Read More

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Do Amish people still exist? The answer may surprise you
Feature

Do Amish people still exist? The answer may surprise you

Bigoted Bigfoot October 12, 2020

In recent months, Amish people have seemingly disappeared, leading many to speculate as to whether or not they actually exist or have existed. Surprisingly, as we’ve found through an extensive … Read More

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‘Absolutely horrifying’: The ten most hated squirrels of January-September 2020
Feature

‘Absolutely horrifying’: The ten most hated squirrels of January-September 2020

Bigoted Bigfoot October 9, 2020

There are some animals that just weren’t meant to exist. One of these animals, sent directly from Hell as a punishment for sinners, is the squirrel. The Rutabaga decided to … Read More

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Adolf Hitler faces backlash over old tweets
Feature

Adolf Hitler faces backlash over old tweets

Glizzy McGee September 21, 2020

Former World leader Adolf Hitler received some major criticism this weekend after old tweets from 1932 were resurfaced. The tweets in question have stirred up lots of controversy, including lines … Read More

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Racism at Whitman: Survey finds white students no longer feel welcome in the community
Feature

Racism at Whitman: Survey finds white students no longer feel welcome in the community

Glizzy McGee September 13, 2020

A recent survey conducted by Turning Point Whitman® has reported some shocking results.

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Feature

Top 10 ways to get out of zoom class

Glizzy McGee September 11, 2020

As Whitman takes on virtual learning, many of the school’s cool and rebellious students are struggling with how they are going to skip class. No worries, young agitators! Here are … Read More

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Spray-tanned sophomore claims she “fell asleep in the sun”
Feature

Spray-tanned sophomore claims she “fell asleep in the sun”

admin June 18, 2020

BY 2Rs Twenty minutes after entering a local spray tanning salon, sophomore Julie Smith emerged with coloring similar to that of the love child between Nemo and an overripe cheeto, … Read More

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