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Flash News

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Aww, not you too! “Chester Cheetah” of Frito-Lay makes antisemitic comments

Six more weeks of winter? Yeah, right: Turns out Phil the Groundhog is a lying snake

Senior Stunner superlative canceled due to “abnormally ugly senior class”

Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health

Does wearing a jacket in the winter make you gay? These four teenage boys say yes

Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school

It’s time to stop listening to music and go to therapy

Monday, March 27, 2023

Category: Opinion

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed
Featured
Opinion

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

pionel pessi March 27, 2023

Last Sunday, I couldn’t have been more happy. I had just been adopted by Felicity Huffman — the multi millionaire actress who paid for someone to fix her daughter’s SAT … Read More

Comment on Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed
I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me
Featured
Opinion

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

Selener Gomez March 22, 2023

As a woman, it’s hard to be surrounded by men — especially in academic environments — where you’re constantly underrepresented and looked over as a serious member of the conversation. … Read More

Comment on I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me
5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC
Featured
Opinion

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Selener Gomez March 7, 2023

One thing all students in the Whitman area love doing in their free time is saying that they’re from “DC,” especially putting the two letters in their Instagram bio to … Read More

Comment on 5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC
Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health
Opinion

Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health

Selener Gomez January 13, 2023

Winter time marks the era of stress, depression, and just generally feeling like absolute shit. Well, instead of your other numerous attempts to get therapy, manage your schedule, or seek … Read More

Comment on Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health
Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school
Opinion

Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school

Selener Gomez December 21, 2022

The holiday season brings many beautiful things: colorful lights, delicious treats, and family reunions. One thing many forget about until a 19 or 20-year-old comes into your high school classroom … Read More

Comment on Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school
I LIVED IT: Jeff Bezos gave me all of his money
Opinion

I LIVED IT: Jeff Bezos gave me all of his money

Selener Gomez November 15, 2022

This morning, I saw a headline that Amazon CEO and total hottie Jeff Bezos said he would give away most of his massive fortune during his lifetime, and I immediately … Read More

Comment on I LIVED IT: Jeff Bezos gave me all of his money
Why Whitman needs a pool
Opinion

Why Whitman needs a pool

Reese Withoutherspoon October 13, 2022

bc i’d like to take a lil swim in it

Comment on Why Whitman needs a pool
Rename Chess Club “The Chastity Club”?
Opinion

Rename Chess Club “The Chastity Club”?

Chad Manley May 25, 2022

A gambit in chess is when you sacrifice a piece in exchange for favorable positioning. As it turns out, joining Chess Club is the real gambit: You lose the ability … Read More

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whitmanbarstool: the new face of feminism?
Opinion

whitmanbarstool: the new face of feminism?

̴̑͜ ̴̠͛ ̵̣̅ ̴̧͒ ̷̛͈ ̴̝͊ March 3, 2022

The Instagram account whitmanbarstool has done what all other Whitman affiliated pages are too scared to do, redefined feminism.  They have taken it upon themselves to be the allies and … Read More

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Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin
Opinion Politics

Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin

admin February 24, 2022

Vladyyy stoooooop. Ms.Eagan is upset with you. -The Rutabaga

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