Guys who wear shorts to school in December are outraged about online school

The pandemic has affected all of us in some way or another. Some people lost their jobs, others have lost love ones, but absolutely nobody has lost more than December short wearers.

We’ve all seen them; they stand in the halls wearing Under Armour™ athletic shorts in 31 degree weather. They do so with absolutely no shame. They come in many forms: Brad, Brendan, and the occasional Nathan.

The short wearers have formed a group, calling themselves the ADSW (Alliance of December Short Wearers.) The ADSW members describe themselves as a “safe space for short wearers of all kinds” on their website,

When questioned about the website name, ADSW’s website developer admitted: “I spelled shorts wrong, the ADSW does not support sharts.”

Many ADSW members are outraged over the current schooling situation. The rutabaga interviewed the club leader, Gilbert Shorts, to find out more.

“Online school is oppressing the December shorts wearing community” said Shorts “How else are we supposed to show how tough and cool we are if we can’t show up to school in December with shorts on?”

The ADSW has also created a slogan: “you know my shorts, not my story” which is currently being processed for trademark.

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