How to find a Jew’s space laser

Rep. Majorie Taylor Greene is one of the last true American patriots.

First, she exposed the Parkland “victims” for the fame-crazed trained sheep they are. Then our petite, cross-fitted Rush Limbaugh showed all the haters how to make a pull-up look like a dolphin having seizure. Now it’s up to us, the American people, to pull our end of the bargain and help Greene find the Jews’ illusive space lasers.

This is going to be a tall task. A revolution doesn’t happen overnight. However, if we use some good old fashioned chutzpah, the Jews won’t stand a chance.

  1. Storm a Jew Church: Like what are those things?! Seriously! I don’t know what goes on in there, but it seems pretty space lasery to me. Show up with some of your most American, freedom-loving friends and storm the hell out of a Bar Mitzvah. 
  2. Learn their language: Have you ever seen a Jew pray? Exactly. God speaks American, not Jew tongue. They are clearly using their magic Israel language to communicate with each other about the lasers.
  3. Don’t use antisemitism: Hey, this has nothing to do with harming Jews based on the fact that they are Jewish. Our objective is to find some space lasers. Jews just so happen to be the masterminds who are secretly controlling the world behind the scenes. It’s not antisemtic. Therefore, we need to spread the word that Jews have space lasers in order to avoid coming across as antisemtic.

To conclude, Israel. Is real. The illuminati is real… Take that, Obama. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *