This summer was monumental for hot girls all across the country. Depression rates were at an all-time low and Plan B sales were at an all-time high. Sadly, as of September 22, hot girl summer is dead, as are many unwanted fetuses.
However, even though these girl bosses listened to the queen Megan Thee Stallion and “did hot girl shit,” they didn’t think that “hot girl shit” would entail contacting their old booty calls to inform them they might have chlamydia, or syphilis, or both. After a 130% increase in the number of STDs among teenagers this summer researchers have declared hot girl summer has officially turned into hot when I pee fall.
While hot when I pee fall might not sound as enjoyable as the freeing hot girl summer, it still has its perks.
- Autumn is chilly. It burns when you pee. They cancel each other out.
- Have commitment issues? You can work past them by taking notes from your STDs because those little bitches are 4lifers!
- Studies show that pheromones are one of the main ways to win over someone’s heart. Thankfully, STDs come with a built-in fishy smell so when you pass your crush in the hallway, they can’t help but fall in love with you!
Happy hot when I pee fall from my family to yours!