Student facing prison time after senior assassin gone wrong

This morning, senior assassin was abruptly put on hold after a Whitman senior was arrested for breaking and entering. The student is being put up on a trial and faces three years in prison for their crime, but hopes to shorten their sentence on an insanity plea. 

The student’s lawyers claim, “The cutthroat nature of the game drove our client to a psychotic breaking point.”

The student was found lying in the bathtub of a fellow student wearing hello kitty floaties and clutching a super soaker. Fecal evidence suggests that the student had been there all night. 

“[Redacted] has to take his floaties off to shower right? RIGHT???” the student claimed in newly released text messages. 

Further details about the date of the trial are unknown, but for now many are calling for a stop to future senior assassin games. 

“How is the trespasser’s innocence even a question? That is so clearly illegal,” One individual writes in an online messaging board debating the case. “Even if 50% of people want it you shouldn’t encourage people to potentially commit a crime since not everyone consents to people entering their home.” 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *