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Why dating My Snapchat AI is better than having a real boyfriend

Student facing prison time after senior assassin gone wrong

All seven of the animated M&M’s convicted of felonies

Student hospitalized after being run over by athletic director’s golf cart

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Aww, not you too! “Chester Cheetah” of Frito-Lay makes antisemitic comments

Six more weeks of winter? Yeah, right: Turns out Phil the Groundhog is a lying snake

Senior Stunner superlative canceled due to “abnormally ugly senior class”

Thursday, June 08, 2023
Guess which character from The Office we hate the most
Opinion

Guess which character from The Office we hate the most

Bigoted Bigfoot October 30, 2020

Here’s the game: guess which character from America’s favorite mediocre sitcom we hate the most based on the following hints It’s not Jim He has an on-and-off, intimate relationship with … Read More

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Sources: Pres. Trump to fire Giuliani, hire Borat as personal counsel
Feature

Sources: Pres. Trump to fire Giuliani, hire Borat as personal counsel

Bigoted Bigfoot October 23, 2020

After exposing the latest Rudy Giuliani scandal, Borat certainly made a name for himself. Clearly, he made a big splash, because President Donald Trump will replace Giuliani with Borat himself. … Read More

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News

Breaking News: Top 6 for The Black and White are a Bunch of NERDS!!!!!

admin October 23, 2020
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Do Amish people still exist? The answer may surprise you
Feature

Do Amish people still exist? The answer may surprise you

Bigoted Bigfoot October 12, 2020

In recent months, Amish people have seemingly disappeared, leading many to speculate as to whether or not they actually exist or have existed. Surprisingly, as we’ve found through an extensive … Read More

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‘Absolutely horrifying’: The ten most hated squirrels of January-September 2020
Feature

‘Absolutely horrifying’: The ten most hated squirrels of January-September 2020

Bigoted Bigfoot October 9, 2020

There are some animals that just weren’t meant to exist. One of these animals, sent directly from Hell as a punishment for sinners, is the squirrel. The Rutabaga decided to … Read More

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Gone but not forgotten: Whitman students mourn the death of William Howard Taft
Politics

Gone but not forgotten: Whitman students mourn the death of William Howard Taft

Glizzy McGee October 5, 2020

Yet another American icon has been taken from us; William Howard Taft passed away on March 8, 1930, a month after he fell ill in February. Taft, who was best … Read More

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Local idiot who ‘puts in 110% effort’ doesn’t get job over inability to compute basic math
News

Local idiot who ‘puts in 110% effort’ doesn’t get job over inability to compute basic math

Bigoted Bigfoot October 5, 2020

A local idiot applying for a job mistakenly told the hiring manager that he “puts in 110% effort into everything,” prompting the manager to shred his resumé on the spot. … Read More

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Best ways to subtly suggest that your friend should get a lobotomy
Opinion

Best ways to subtly suggest that your friend should get a lobotomy

Bigoted Bigfoot October 1, 2020

We’ve all been there. Your friend is having some issues and you need to convince them to get a sizable chunk of their brain removed. These conversations can be awkward, … Read More

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Ice Age baby skyrockets in polls after performance in first presidential debate
Politics

Ice Age baby skyrockets in polls after performance in first presidential debate

Bigoted Bigfoot October 1, 2020

The baby from Ice Age is now polling at 45% in the United States presidential race, according the latest Rutabaga polls. This meteoric rise in popularity comes after his digs … Read More

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Adolf Hitler faces backlash over old tweets
Feature

Adolf Hitler faces backlash over old tweets

Glizzy McGee September 21, 2020

Former World leader Adolf Hitler received some major criticism this weekend after old tweets from 1932 were resurfaced. The tweets in question have stirred up lots of controversy, including lines … Read More

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