Twenty minutes after entering a local spray tanning salon, sophomore Julie Smith emerged with coloring similar to that of the love child between Nemo and an overripe cheeto, if the cheeto was painted orange and also on fire. Smith, who had never before received a spray tan, was reportedly satisfied with the results of her \u201clittle escapade,\u201d said her chronically absent mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked about her new look Monday morning, Smith said her tan was natural, claiming she fell asleep in the sun at her brother\u2019s Little League baseball game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI mean, it is America\u2019s pastime,\u201d Smith said. \u201cWhat better way to celebrate red, white and blue than becoming orange?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Smith had selected the brightest shade the salon offered, \u201cOrange you overcompensating?\u201d Other choices include \u201cShield-your-eyes sunset\u201d and \u201cThe Carrot(e) Kid.\u201d A salon employee attempted to convince Smith to choose a milder shade, but Smith refused, confident in her wish to look like \u201can oompa loompa, minus the green hair and the musical talent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Smith\u2019s friend Sara Altman didn\u2019t recognize Smith at first, Altman said. Smith\u2019s tan was \u201cobviously fake, but don\u2019t tell her I said that,\u201d Altman said. Altman, who likened Smith\u2019s look to that of a \u201cpost-meltdown Lindsay Lohan,\u201d was confident that Smith would soon realize her mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re, like, really close,\u201d Altman said. \u201cI mean, I have her Snapchat password and everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When probed, Smith\u2019s younger brother admitted that he did not, in fact, play baseball at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEven if I did, it\u2019s not like she would come to my games,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Twenty minutes after entering a local spray tanning salon, sophomore Julie Smith emerged with coloring similar to that of the love child between Nemo and an overripe cheeto, if the cheeto was painted orange and also on fire. Smith, who had never before received a spray tan, was reportedly satisfied with the results of her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":126,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":127,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions\/127"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}