2020 was a year of innovation. Out of patriotic desire for the prosperity of our great nation, the American people have adapted. However, with all this rapid change, a question is raised, how much are we willing to give up? How many traditions can we break until people finally snap? With all this uncertainty, we have to ask ourselves the million dollar question, Should Santa Claus be allowed to visit our homes this holiday season?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In some cases, this is a matter of life and death. How are we to ensure that our jolly father of Noel will abide by COVID-19 protocols? Saint Nick gave us an inside scoop on how the North Pole Department is handling the pandemic this christmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Parents all over the globe have expressed their concerns. With houses under quarantine, a visitor coming in through the chimney is a safety issue. Some are so paranoid that they have gone so far as to boycott the Christmas holiday as well as creating anti Santa committees. As one Bethesda mother described,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want a fat old man in my house spreading the virus all over my living room. This is a pandemic, we should all act like it. Kris Kringle is no exception,\u201d said Karen Smith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To mitigate these concerns, Santa has made numerous modifications to his tried and true routine. One of these modifications has stirred up tremendous controversy, being an update to his classic red suit. While the suit will retain its red hue and black leather gloves, the Santa hat has been transformed into a full bikers helmet with an airtight seal. Santa\u2019s helpers designed the piece of equipment to ensure its effectiveness. Multiple sources have confirmed that Santa has agreed to wear the helmet all of Christmas Eve, his only complaint being, he \u201ccan\u2019t breathe\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In addition to the changes in his iconic fashion style, Santa\u2019s sleigh has been altered significantly. Self-sanitizing door handles and a new sink installation are just a few of the new additions to Santa\u2019s vehicle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe sink will allow effective hand washing prior to every chimney scurry\u201d said Scientist Mistletoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The North Pole Department has recognized the international decline in Santa appreciation and would like to empathize with the nation by speaking out about their own struggles with the pandemic. For example, a few staff have struggled with the obligatory refinements to the toy-making process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEveryone has been affected by the pandemic, even us up here at the North Pole,\u201d Said the head elf of the North Pole Department, \u201cIt has been hard, but with our modifications we hope to restore everyone\u2019s faith in Santa this year. We only have the children\u2019s safety in mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The NPD urges homeowners to be trusting, have faith in the department\u2019s safety precautions, and not leave their fireplaces on this Christmas Eve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt was a sad day when we saw love for Santa decreasing this year. Nonetheless, We believe in the children to carry us through this December.\u201d Said Elf Department Head Sugar Plum Mary <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Disclaimer: Due to postal complications in the U.S., North Pole intel has been significantly delayed, hence the late publishing date<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 2020 was a year of innovation. Out of patriotic desire for the prosperity of our great nation, the American people have adapted. However, with all this rapid change, a question is raised, how much are we willing to give up? How many traditions can we break until people finally snap? With all this uncertainty, we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":162,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=161"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":163,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions\/163"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}