January 20, 2021 will go down as one of the most important days in American history. An event so historic, so significant, that our kids will be reading about it in their virtual textbooks someday. Obviously, the event I am referring to is when Bernie Sanders wore cute mittens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone\u2019s talking about it; people are debating online whether or not these are the \u201ccutest mittens ever\u201d or if Bernie has achieved \u201cpeak Jewish grandpa.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The mittens\u2019 national popularity have attracted the interest of multiple wealthy business peoples. In a nationally televised auction this past Thursday, which became known as Mitt-a-thon, Amazon CEO and certified Alaskan bullworm Jeff Bezos has purchased them for $45 billion. Bernie, well-known for being a raging capitalist, is now the seventh richest man on planet earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In an interview with Bernie and Bezos, they both expressed their excitement for this transaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am very excited about this partnership\u201d said Sanders \u201cJeff is a great friend of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bezos declined a comment, but his legal team has mentioned that he is currently trying to \u201cdrain the life force\u201d from the mittens.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
January 20, 2021 will go down as one of the most important days in American history. An event so historic, so significant, that our kids will be reading about it in their virtual textbooks someday. Obviously, the event I am referring to is when Bernie Sanders wore cute mittens. Everyone\u2019s talking about it; people are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":168,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=167"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":169,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167\/revisions\/169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}