{"id":195,"date":"2021-09-26T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-26T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/?p=195"},"modified":"2026-04-05T01:01:04","modified_gmt":"2026-04-05T01:01:04","slug":"why-i-shouldnt-be-arrested-for-punching-a-gemini-in-the-face","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"Why I shouldn\u2019t be arrested for punching a Gemini in the face"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>As we all know our astrological signs play a huge role in who we are as people. Short temper? Aries. Emotional? Sagittarius. Willingness to convince your followers to drink cyanide in a South American jungle? Taurus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nothing holds more bearing on your outcome in life than the position of the stars on the night you were born. Time and time again, \u201cnature and nurture\u201d have been proven irrelevant in a child\u2019s development when compared to their zodiac sign. Consequently, it\u2019s not my fault if I punch a Gemini in the face \u2014 after all, I\u2019m a Pisces!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Geminis are \u201cindecisive, double-faced, judgemental, and overly anxious,\u201d according to <a href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20251216044011\/https:\/\/zeenews.india.com\/culture\/zodiac-special-check-out-negative-traits-of-gemini-2118635.html\">ZeeNews India<\/a>, the most reputable source in astrology. All of these horrible traits are perfectly valid reasons to throw a right hook at a Gemini.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But there\u2019s more. Being a Pisces, my least compatible sign is Gemini, meaning that anyone born between May 21 and June 20 will undoubtedly catch these hands if I see them being overly anxious in public.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know what you\u2019re asking yourself right now, \u201cDoes this include babies?\u201d The answer is yes. Gemini babies are extremely judgemental and indecisive. If you\u2019ve ever seen a baby staring at you in a weird way, it\u2019s a Gemini baby and it\u2019s judging you. As a Pisces, I\u2019m obligated to sock the baby on sight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Needless to say, the law should not hold me responsible for my actions. If I had been born after March 21 then sure, arrest me. But my birthday is March 17. Sorry John Green, there\u2019s no fault in our star. The laws of the celestial bodies don\u2019t lie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As we all know our astrological signs play a huge role in who we are as people. Short temper? Aries. Emotional? Sagittarius. Willingness to convince your followers to drink cyanide in a South American jungle? Taurus. Nothing holds more bearing on your outcome in life than the position of the stars on the night you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":196,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":197,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions\/197"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}