{"id":66,"date":"2022-11-15T21:58:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-15T21:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/?p=66"},"modified":"2026-04-04T21:59:37","modified_gmt":"2026-04-04T21:59:37","slug":"i-lived-it-jeff-bezos-gave-me-all-of-his-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/?p=66","title":{"rendered":"I LIVED IT: Jeff Bezos gave me all of his money"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This morning, I saw a headline that Amazon CEO and total hottie Jeff Bezos said he would give away most of his massive fortune during his lifetime, and I immediately got to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, while he said in the initial statement that he promised to give it to \u201ccharity\u201d to \u201cunify humanity\u201d and bridge the \u201csocial divide,\u201d I knew that something was up because Jeff would never promise such an outlandish thing. Of course, I was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After hopping on a quick call with his financial team, they Venmo\u2019d me 124.1 billion dollars to my account (kinda random) and told me that I \u201cdeserved it more than those stinky charities.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In their words (not mine), they said that I was \u201cdoing so much to help my community and my generosity should not go unnoticed.\u201d That was weird because I literally had never met Jeff Bezos or anyone from his team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyways, I\u2019m still thinking about how I should spend my money. First things first, I really should pay for my AP exams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This morning, I saw a headline that Amazon CEO and total hottie Jeff Bezos said he would give away most of his massive fortune during his lifetime, and I immediately got to work. Now, while he said in the initial statement that he promised to give it to \u201ccharity\u201d to \u201cunify humanity\u201d and bridge the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":67,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-66","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=66"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions\/68"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/67"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=66"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=66"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/therutabaga.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=66"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}