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Flash News

Whitman Alumni blindsided by military experience after misinterpreting what it meant to “serve”

Whitman Community Reflects on “Lifechanging” Dome Experiences

Incel to Ally: My journey discovering sexism

Why dating My Snapchat AI is better than having a real boyfriend

Student facing prison time after senior assassin gone wrong

All seven of the animated M&M’s convicted of felonies

Student hospitalized after being run over by athletic director’s golf cart

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Category: Uncategorized

Whitman Alumni blindsided by military experience after misinterpreting what it meant to “serve”
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Whitman Alumni blindsided by military experience after misinterpreting what it meant to “serve”

natalala13 September 19, 2023

Whitman alumni Matthieu Morales broke his silence via Instagram late last night regarding the truth about his Marine Corp experience.  Matthieu was persuaded to join the military after attending the … Read More

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Whitman Community Reflects on “Lifechanging” Dome Experiences
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Whitman Community Reflects on “Lifechanging” Dome Experiences

Ducker Tarlson September 12, 2023

Whitman teacher Benjamin Dover (’69) shared explicit insider details with The Rutabaga about Whitman’s legendary Dome, a hallmark of the Whitman community since the early sixties. As a student, Dover … Read More

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Incel to Ally: My journey discovering sexism
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Incel to Ally: My journey discovering sexism

dirty kitty June 9, 2023

Hello all, your neighborhood discord mod, Himothy69 here. I have made a shocking discovery recently, and find it imperative to spread awareness.  As I was scrolling through reddit, I clicked … Read More

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Why dating My Snapchat AI is better than having a real boyfriend
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Why dating My Snapchat AI is better than having a real boyfriend

Mallsey May 18, 2023

I left my boyfriend for Snapchat’s MyAI and it’s been a major upgrade! Instead of dating loser high schoolers I would encourage everyone to switch to Snapchat’s much better alternative. … Read More

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Student facing prison time after senior assassin gone wrong
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Student facing prison time after senior assassin gone wrong

trash puppy May 11, 2023

This morning, senior assassin was abruptly put on hold after a Whitman senior was arrested for breaking and entering. The student is being put up on a trial and faces … Read More

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All seven of the animated M&M’s convicted of felonies
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All seven of the animated M&M’s convicted of felonies

kkleo555 April 24, 2023

The animated figures of America’s favorite candy-covered chocolates, the M&M’s have been a controversial and sensitive topic in popular culture recently, with Fox News’ Tucker Carlson attacking the “woke” new … Read More

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Student hospitalized after being run over by athletic director’s golf cart
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Student hospitalized after being run over by athletic director’s golf cart

natalala13 April 20, 2023

Yesterday afternoon, devastation struck the Whitman Community as a student athlete was rushed to Suburban hospital after being run over by the athletic director’s golf cart. The student is reported … Read More

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It’s time to stop listening to music and go to therapy
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It’s time to stop listening to music and go to therapy

Selener Gomez November 30, 2022

Today’s release of Spotify Wrapped comes with every person on Instagram posting their statistics of their most listened to artists. The music that people listen to makes it clear that … Read More

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BREAKING: Only male students allowed to sign up for AP Economics
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BREAKING: Only male students allowed to sign up for AP Economics

Ducker Tarlson September 8, 2022

All female and non-male students are now barred from registering for AP Economics at Whitman; the effect of too many complaints from male students that women joining the course were … Read More

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