Excellence in Media Since 3 B.C.
I left my boyfriend for Snapchat’s MyAI and it’s been a major upgrade! Instead of dating loser high schoolers I would encourage everyone to switch to Snapchat’s much better alternative. … Read More
This morning, senior assassin was abruptly put on hold after a Whitman senior was arrested for breaking and entering. The student is being put up on a trial and faces … Read More
The animated figures of America’s favorite candy-covered chocolates, the M&M’s have been a controversial and sensitive topic in popular culture recently, with Fox News’ Tucker Carlson attacking the “woke” new … Read More
Yesterday afternoon, devastation struck the Whitman Community as a student athlete was rushed to Suburban hospital after being run over by the athletic director’s golf cart. The student is reported … Read More
Last Sunday, I couldn’t have been more happy. I had just been adopted by Felicity Huffman — the multi millionaire actress who paid for someone to fix her daughter’s SAT … Read More
As a woman, it’s hard to be surrounded by men — especially in academic environments — where you’re constantly underrepresented and looked over as a serious member of the conversation. … Read More
One thing all students in the Whitman area love doing in their free time is saying that they’re from “DC,” especially putting the two letters in their Instagram bio to … Read More
In some disappointing news, The Rutabaga has found that “Chester Cheetah,” best known for his appearances in Frito-Lay commercials and chip branding, has made several antisemitic comments in the past … Read More
On Groundhog’s Day, the US —especially the East Coast — was disappointed to learn, according to a little groundhog, that we would be having six more weeks of winter instead … Read More
The senior superlative nominations are out and it has Whitman’s entire senior class buzzing. But, everyone has realized that an important part of the superlatives went missing: the “senior stunner” … Read More
Winter time marks the era of stress, depression, and just generally feeling like absolute shit. Well, instead of your other numerous attempts to get therapy, manage your schedule, or seek … Read More
It’s getting cold outside in Maryland – which means it’s time to start wearing jackets to school. While we’ve had a warm front this past week, we’ve interviewed almost every … Read More
The holiday season brings many beautiful things: colorful lights, delicious treats, and family reunions. One thing many forget about until a 19 or 20-year-old comes into your high school classroom … Read More
This morning, I saw a headline that Amazon CEO and total hottie Jeff Bezos said he would give away most of his massive fortune during his lifetime, and I immediately … Read More
