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Flash News

Rename Chess Club “The Chastity Club”?

whitmanbarstool: the new face of feminism?

Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin

Dr.Dodd found principaling other school

Why the cafeteria should start serving only milk

Get off your high horse Europe

Santa’s Elves Sue For Better Working Conditions

Community question: Is anyone else getting weird emails from a lady named “Anne Hutchens”?

Voluptuous straight men fed up with constant objectification

Breaking: MCPS Board of Education requests Wootton to change name of school to Lootton because they ‘take too many Ls’

Tuesday, June 28, 2022
Rename Chess Club “The Chastity Club”?
Opinion

Rename Chess Club “The Chastity Club”?

Chad Manley May 25, 2022

A gambit in chess is when you sacrifice a piece in exchange for favorable positioning. As it turns out, joining Chess Club is the real gambit: You lose the ability … Read More

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whitmanbarstool: the new face of feminism?
Opinion

whitmanbarstool: the new face of feminism?

̴̑͜ ̴̠͛ ̵̣̅ ̴̧͒ ̷̛͈ ̴̝͊ March 3, 2022

The Instagram account whitmanbarstool has done what all other Whitman affiliated pages are too scared to do, redefined feminism.  They have taken it upon themselves to be the allies and … Read More

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Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin
Opinion Politics

Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin

admin February 24, 2022

Vladyyy stoooooop. Ms.Eagan is upset with you. -The Rutabaga

Comment on Rutabaga message to Vladimir Putin
Dr.Dodd found principaling other school
News

Dr.Dodd found principaling other school

Vince OfficeDepot February 3, 2022

The Rutabaga has recently obtained shocking evidence of Dr. Dodd principaling with a different High School. Suspicion arose regarding Dr. Dodds extraprincipal activity after students noticed that neither Doddy nor … Read More

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Why the cafeteria should start serving only milk
Opinion

Why the cafeteria should start serving only milk

Vince OfficeDepot January 26, 2022

This year many students pointed out the obvious shortcomings of the cafeteria. You may be asking yourself, “what are these shortcomings?” Possibly failing a health and safety inspection? No. The … Read More

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Get off your high horse Europe
What each country's favorite thing is...
Opinion

Get off your high horse Europe

̴̑͜ ̴̠͛ ̵̣̅ ̴̧͒ ̷̛͈ ̴̝͊ January 25, 2022

It’s pretty common knowledge that Europe sucks. They have presidents that marry their teachers, chancellors who flirt with married American DILFS (Obama) and prime ministers that look like Gromit if … Read More

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Santa’s Elves Sue For Better Working Conditions
News

Santa’s Elves Sue For Better Working Conditions

admin December 23, 2021

“St.Nick”, “Kris Kringle”, “Father Christmas” are all nicknames for the man who makes it all happen. Most people see Santa as a jolly fellow who brings gifts to everyone but … Read More

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Community question: Is anyone else getting weird emails from a lady named “Anne Hutchens”?
Opinion

Community question: Is anyone else getting weird emails from a lady named “Anne Hutchens”?

Chad Manley November 12, 2021

To preface, I’m currently a senior at Whitman who prides myself on my academic success, outstanding mental health and large social circle. Recently, however, my school email has been flooded … Read More

Comment on Community question: Is anyone else getting weird emails from a lady named “Anne Hutchens”?
Voluptuous straight men fed up with constant objectification
News

Voluptuous straight men fed up with constant objectification

Vince OfficeDepot November 5, 2021

In our modern “woke” culture, there’s one group whose struggle seems to have been completely ignored — thick straight men. As a result, members of the community say that people … Read More

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Breaking: MCPS Board of Education requests Wootton to change name of school to Lootton because they ‘take too many Ls’
Feature

Breaking: MCPS Board of Education requests Wootton to change name of school to Lootton because they ‘take too many Ls’

Rave Dubin November 3, 2021

In the wake of Whitman wins again Wootton in both the girl’s varsity soccer regional championship and the handball county championship — just hours apart — the MCPS Board of … Read More

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