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Flash News

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Aww, not you too! “Chester Cheetah” of Frito-Lay makes antisemitic comments

Six more weeks of winter? Yeah, right: Turns out Phil the Groundhog is a lying snake

Senior Stunner superlative canceled due to “abnormally ugly senior class”

Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health

Does wearing a jacket in the winter make you gay? These four teenage boys say yes

Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school

It’s time to stop listening to music and go to therapy

Monday, March 27, 2023

Category: Feature

Does wearing a jacket in the winter make you gay? These four teenage boys say yes
Feature

Does wearing a jacket in the winter make you gay? These four teenage boys say yes

Selener Gomez January 6, 2023

It’s getting cold outside in Maryland – which means it’s time to start wearing jackets to school. While we’ve had a warm front this past week, we’ve interviewed almost every … Read More

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Feature

Senior boys who hang out with underclassmen girls: “We’re educating the next generation”

Selener Gomez October 21, 2022

The Rutabaga is best at noticing new trends and the upcoming fall season is a great example of the rise of such trends. Writers have searched Whitman’s halls for the … Read More

Comment on Senior boys who hang out with underclassmen girls: “We’re educating the next generation”
Spotlight on Whittier Blvd.’s walk sign
Feature

Spotlight on Whittier Blvd.’s walk sign

Ducker Tarlson October 6, 2022

I traveled to the intersection of Whittier Blvd. and Wilson Lane on behalf of The Rutabaga. I sat down with the man who tells pedestrians to Wait Before Crossing Whittier … Read More

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Spotlight on the Clubs Club
Feature

Spotlight on the Clubs Club

Selener Gomez September 30, 2022

Want to be in a club without any commitment or social interaction? We present to you: the Clubs Club! While the name of the club may be confusing, that’s exactly … Read More

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Breaking: MCPS Board of Education requests Wootton to change name of school to Lootton because they ‘take too many Ls’
Feature

Breaking: MCPS Board of Education requests Wootton to change name of school to Lootton because they ‘take too many Ls’

Rave Dubin November 3, 2021

In the wake of Whitman wins again Wootton in both the girl’s varsity soccer regional championship and the handball county championship — just hours apart — the MCPS Board of … Read More

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ESPN Frustrated after NFL draft pick has no dead family members
Feature Politics

ESPN Frustrated after NFL draft pick has no dead family members

admin May 24, 2021

Clemson Junior Trevor Lawrence has been touted as a generational talent at the Quarterback position. Highly respected NFL scout Anita Hanjaahb called him “The Greatest Quarterback prospect we’ve ever seen.” … Read More

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How to find a Jew’s space laser
Feature

How to find a Jew’s space laser

Jesse Rider April 15, 2021

Rep. Majorie Taylor Greene is one of the last true American patriots. First, she exposed the Parkland “victims” for the fame-crazed trained sheep they are. Then our petite, cross-fitted Rush … Read More

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Is it Okay to Bully People During the Pandemic?
Feature

Is it Okay to Bully People During the Pandemic?

admin April 14, 2021

The covid 19 pandemic has caused many of us to change how we behave on a regular basis. Behaviors such as shaking hands and sucking on water fountains now seem … Read More

Comment on Is it Okay to Bully People During the Pandemic?
Top 5 Factors When Picking a College
Feature

Top 5 Factors When Picking a College

Ethan Wagner March 24, 2021

Paper quality of acceptance letter. After getting accepted into a college, an acceptance letter arrives at your house. Reading the letter is unnecessary. Instead, feel the paper because the quality … Read More

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Despite his claims of being Pro-life, Rush Limbaugh has died
Feature

Despite his claims of being Pro-life, Rush Limbaugh has died

Glizzy McGee February 17, 2021

Rush Limbaugh, the conservative media mogul most famous for his work on Family Guy, has died of lung cancer at age 70. Limbaugh, who’s most prominent quote on his Wikipedia … Read More

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