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Flash News

Felicity Huffman adopted me before the SAT and I still failed

I disguised as AI so men would finally respect me

5 reasons why you shouldn’t claim to live in DC if you don’t live in DC

Aww, not you too! “Chester Cheetah” of Frito-Lay makes antisemitic comments

Six more weeks of winter? Yeah, right: Turns out Phil the Groundhog is a lying snake

Senior Stunner superlative canceled due to “abnormally ugly senior class”

Throwing my computer in a river: How I prioritized my mental health

Does wearing a jacket in the winter make you gay? These four teenage boys say yes

Alumni: Stop visiting your old high school

It’s time to stop listening to music and go to therapy

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Author: Ethan Wagner

Top 5 Factors When Picking a College
Feature

Top 5 Factors When Picking a College

Ethan Wagner March 24, 2021

Paper quality of acceptance letter. After getting accepted into a college, an acceptance letter arrives at your house. Reading the letter is unnecessary. Instead, feel the paper because the quality … Read More

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Is Katie Ledecky a fish?
Feature

Is Katie Ledecky a fish?

Ethan Wagner November 12, 2020

Katie Ledecky is one of the greatest swimmers of all time. She has won five Olympic Gold medals. Her time in the 1500 meter swim of 15 minutes, 34.23 seconds … Read More

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News

Freshman accidentally loses toe during Zoom class

Ethan Wagner November 2, 2020

Last Monday, ninth grade student Little Fletcher had to be rushed to the hospital after an accident involving him and his nail clippers. The accident occured during his honors Biology … Read More

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Feature

Founder of MoCo Snow has evil plans to create snow days

Ethan Wagner November 2, 2020

The Rutabaga gained access to a classified document on October 30 containing MoCoSnow creator Alex Tsironis’ plan to make fake snow in an attempt to try and keep his app … Read More

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